It included the club's mission statement, articles, a way to apply, downloadable sound files, and wallpapers ("Give your screen a makeover. It needs it as much as you do.")
"Hello. I'm Sandi Griffin, president of the Lawndale High School Fashion Club. I am also the Chief Executive Officer of this Web site, designed to inspire higher wardrobe awareness and heightened grooming excellence. Because you people need it so bad.
"As the millennium thing approaches, the Fashion Club must boldly look to and plan for the future. First of all, the ATMs better still be working in January. Second, it's time to realize that being on the cutting edge of style means more than refusing to purchase summer stock after Memorial Day or cultivating an awareness of body-heat-sensitive fabrics: we must also embrace the Internet, a vast source of outfit inspiration, like a digital closet that goes on and on and never ends. Wow. What if that were true? Imagine the shoes."
"To lead the Lawndale High School populace in all matters of attire, personal adornment, and garmentual self-enhancement. To support fellow students in achieving their appearance goals, even the hopeless ones with greasy bangs and rough, dry elbows. To spot trends, reflect upon them, and critique without malice or favor (like why are all those girls with thick calves jumping on the Capri pants bandwagon?). To maintain standards of dress in school hallways and classrooms using the time-honored tools of philosophical enlightenment: logic, gentle persuasion, and vicious, relentless ridicule."
Apply for membershipEdit
"Answer the following questions honestly. Then click the periwinkle button and await our response. Note: Membership is open only to females. We must retain our air of mystery. And guys have such tiny hips. It's just not fair.
"(Be patient, it may take a few seconds for the automatic rejection feature to load.)"
Automatic feature run by Tiffany Blum-Deckler:
" Do you sometimes wonder if you measure up? Do you constantly compare yourself to others? Do you get depressed because you know you will never be perfect? Do you burst into tears when you overpluck your eyebrows? I know Stacy does.
"But it does no good to be a crybaby (besides, it makes your eyes all puffy. Ick.). The first step is to identify your flaws; then you can spend the rest of your life trying to fix them.
"Use this checklist to inventory your bad points. Then click on the feedback button for some expert advice."
The 'current' article is "Internet Shopping Vs. Real Shopping" by Stacy Rowe:
"Which is better: online shopping or face-to-face purchasing? This was the topic of our last general meeting, held at Tiffany's house. (Her mom can cut carrots so they look like flowers -- it's really neat!) It was a little hard to write everything down with Sandi looking over my shoulder the whole time and blocking the light, but I did the best I could. Not that she was being scary or anything. No way! Sandi could never do anything that would make her show up night after night in my dreams, chasing me with a bloody chainsaw, until I'm afraid to turn off the light when I go to bed. No. Not Sandi."
PRO: Adrenaline rush when they announce the store is closing.
CON: You can get a slush cup at 3 a.m., but just try finding a decent halter top.
PRO: Open 24 hours a day.
CON: Loss of sleep causes eye bags.
PRO: Get to show off vanity license plates.
CON: In summer, hot seatbelts scorch synthetics.
PRO: Don't have to worry about handicapped people hogging all the good spots.
CON: Can't ask guys to carry shopping bags to the car.
PRO: Envious glances from fellow customers when they see how great you look in stretch denim.
CON: Often forced to watch a size 10 squeeze into a size 6.
PRO: No ridiculous six-item limit.
CON: Mirrors at home don't make you look as skinny.
PRO: Annoying salesgirls have to wait on you.
CON: A pain to return things when your Mom's secretary doesn't have time to go to the mall at lunch.
PRO: No annoying salesgirls to give you dirty looks.
CON: A pain to return things when your Mom's secretary doesn't have time to go to the post office at lunch.
PRO: Our own bathrooms are so much less gross than mall bathrooms, even after Joey, Jamie, and Jeffy have been over.
CON: No food court.